Always lick your butt before kissing your humans.
Caio and Meow
~BK
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Welcome to the Cat House
What makes me so bad?
I'm "Bad Kitty". Yes, I'm "that" Bad Kitty of Widdershins and LiveJournal fame. Quite possibly the most famous cat in the Pacific Northwest.
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My human was lucky enough to find me, when I was returned to the adoption center after kicking the butt of a wussy, yappy, little Yorkshire terrier in my first home (the nerve of those people trying to get ME to share space with a "kick me" dog).
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The redheaded human slave who does my bidding thought it was cool that I was a tough kitty when she adopted me. But she doesn't think it's quite so funny now that I try to trip her in the wee hours of the morning when she's still half asleep, walk across her computer keyboard, knock things off of shelves, open the kitchen cabinets, stare at her in the bathtub, sleep on her face, step on any body part that's: sore, bloated, congested (she loves it when I sleep on her chest when she has a cold) or full (like a bladder first thing in the morning-Oh that's my favorite) and yowl loudly and continually (I have quite the vocabulary) and eat her plants.
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Don't even get me started on her silly best friend who thinks she's a cat person. I have issues, she's a bitch, and I have drawn blood. Yet the poor, foolish, easily manipulated human, will time and time again let me sucker her into petting me, only to draw back a bloody hand.
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I occasionally cozy up to the men she dates (although I really don't much care for men; I haven't met a "good one" yet) if they pay me lots of attention and bring me treats. They'd best just remember that I'm "The kitty" and they are expendable.
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In my spare time (when I'm not working on my diabolical plan to rule the world, starting with this house), I manage the editing of stories, rants, essays and the creation and maintenance of web pages, the purchasing of the finest cat food and toys, chasing birds (through the window of course, I'm an indoor kitty) and squirrels. They're lucky there is glass between they and I, or I'd have a tasty treat !!!
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